Why We Shoot Deer In The Wild (As Opposed to Roping)

Why we shoot deer in the wild: (A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well, and actually tried this)
         I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.  The first step in this adventure was getting a deer.  I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
        I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.  They were not having any of it.  After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up — 3 of them.  I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.  The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.
       The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away.  I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education.  The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.  The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.  A deer– no Chance.  That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.  There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.  As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.  The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.  It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.  I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
      I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer.  At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.  Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer’s momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn’t want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder – a little trap I had set before hand…kind of like a squeeze chute.  I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
      Did you know that deer bite?  They do!  I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ….. I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.  Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go.  A deer bites you and shakes its head–almost like a pit bull.  They bite HARD and it hurts.
     The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly.  I tried screaming and shaking instead.  My method was ineffective.
     It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.  I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
    That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
     Deer will strike at you with their front feet.  They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp… I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse –strikes at you with their hooves and you can’t get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.  This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
    This was not a horse.  This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work.  In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.  I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
     Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave.  I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.  What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
     I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.  So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope……to sort of even the odds!!
    All these events are true so help me God… An Educated Farmer.

You Know You’re In Texas When


  • You only know five spices-salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ Sauce and ketchup.
  • You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and Cowboy Boots.
  • The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  • You have more miles on your tractor than your car.
  • You have 10 favorite recipes for Deer meat.
  • You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.
  • Driving is better after it’s rained because the potholes are filled with mud and you don’t have to take those backroads to go “mudding.”
  • You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
  • You owe more money on your bulldozer than your car.
  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page,
  • but requires 6 pages for local sports.
  • You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
  • At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  • Your leaf-blower gets stuck on the roof.
  • You think the start of Deer season is a national holiday.
  • You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the coyotes won’t prowl on your deck.
  • You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  • The major county fund-raiser isn’t bingo – it’s sausage making.
  • You find 70 degrees Fahrenheit a little chilly.
  • The trunk of your car doubles as a sauna.
  • You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
  • You know 4 seasons – Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Deer Season
  • You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Texan friends.

Soldiers at Fort Hood, Texas Told That Christians are Terroristic Threats

Are Christian soldiers going to be prosecuted if they tithe to their church? Donate to Republican politicians who are aligned with the Tea Party?

According to the latest pre-deployment briefings soldiers are getting the answer is a shocking “YES”.


Soldiers attending a pre-deployment briefing at Fort Hood say they were told that evangelical Christians and members of the Tea Party were a threat to the nation and that any soldier donating to those groups would be subjected to punishment under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

A soldier who attended the Oct. 17th briefing told me the counter-intelligence agent in charge of the meeting spent nearly a half hour discussing how evangelical Christians and groups like the American Family Association were “tearing the country apart.”

Michael Berry, an attorney with the Liberty Institute, is advising the soldier and has launched an investigation into the incident.

“The American public should be outraged that the U.S. Army is teaching our troops that evangelical Christians and Tea Party members are enemies of America, and that they can be punished for supporting or participating in those groups,” said Berry, a former Marine Corps JAG officer. Image

“These statements about evangelicals being domestic enemies are a serious charge.”

The soldier told me he fears reprisals and asked not to be identified. He said there was a blanket statement that donating to any groups that were considered a threat to the military and government was punishable under military regulations.

“My first concern was if I was going to be in trouble going to church,” the evangelical Christian soldier told me. “Can I tithe? Can I donate to Christian charities? What if I donate to a politician who is a part of the Tea Party movement?”

Another soldier who attended the briefing alerted the Chaplain Alliance for Religious Liberty. That individual’s recollections of the briefing matched the soldier who reached out to me.

“I was very shocked and couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” the soldier said. “I felt like my religious liberties, that I risk my life and sacrifice time away from family to fight for, were being taken away.”

And while a large portion of the briefing dealt with the threat evangelicals and the Tea Party pose to the nation, barely a word was said about Islamic extremism, the soldier said.

Of course, Fort Hood is still recovering from the act of “workplace violence” (as per the Obama Administration) committed by Nadal Hassan. It seems that the world is being tossed on its head.

“Our community is still healing from the act of terrorism brought on by Nidal Hasan – who really is a terrorist,” the soldier said. “This is a slap in the face. “The military is supposed to defend freedom and to classify the vast majority of the military that claim to be Christian as terrorists is sick.”

The Pentagon has hired Mikey Weinstein, an outspoken atheist to rebuild many of its training programs. In the past, Weinstein has stated that all Christians should be killed.

This training smells like Weinstein’s work.

If you are troubled by this news, reach out to your elected officials and let them know that you are outraged.

Please share this article using the buttons below!

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Stranded in Belton, Texas

posted by staff


(Belton, Texas) One evening a man saw an elderly old woman stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of the late afternoon, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her fancy car and got out.

His old Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, ‘I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.’

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

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He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, ‘And think of me.’

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she madeImage the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be.

Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: ‘You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.’

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, ‘Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.’





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By Robert G. Natelson

Rob Natelson, the Independence Institute’s Senior Fellow in Constitutional Jurisprudence, is one of America’s best-known constitutional scholars. In opinions issued during the most recent U.S. Supreme Court term, he was cited 12 times in two separate cases. Rob was a law professor for 25 years, serving at three different universities. Among other subjects, he taught Constitutional Law, Constitutional History, Advanced Constitutional Law, and First Amendment. He is also the Senior Fellow in Constitutional Jurisprudence at the Montana Policy Institute. Rob is especially known for his studies of the Constitution’s original meaning. His research has carried him to libraries throughout the United States and in Britain, including four months at Oxford. The results have included several break-though discoveries.

(Jon’s note: During my teen years I spent 4 years in Montana. I first met Rob back in 1996 in Missoula, Montana at a local Pachyderm Club meeting. He was a candidate for Governor of the Big Sky State. At the time I was 16 years old and quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things, yet Rob always took time to impart his wisdom to me and entertain my conversation at his office at the University of Montana Law School. In part, thanks to him I have the strict constructionist views which I hold today.  Please enjoy reading this excerpt from his latest book.)


A Tavern in 1791. . . .

It is Thursday, December 22, 1791. You live in Philadelphia, currently serving as the temporary capital of the newly-created United States of America. It has been only fifteen years since Independence was declared, and less than three years since the federal government began functioning under the United States Constitution. 1392101_564968160240743_633678218_n

For a long time, it had been touch-and-go as to whether the Constitution would be ratified at all. Two states initially refused to agree, and of the remainder five had approved the document only after the Constitution’s supporters and moderate opponents had cut a political deal calling for a Bill of Rights. As soon as the new Congress met, two of the most important states, Virginia and New York, petitioned for a convention for proposing amendments to the Constitution. Only after Congress had approved the Bill of Rights did Virginia and New York abandon their petitions and only then did the last two hold-outs, North Carolina and Rhode Island, join the union. The fourteenth state, Vermont, came in at the beginning of 1791.

Earlier on this day, you learned that the Bill of Rights finally had been ratified on December 15. So now, you reflect, the union is reasonably secure, evening is approaching, and your work day is done—and you are on a Philadelphia street corner with nothing particular to do. The weather is chilly and blustery, but there is a cure for that: A warm punch in a cozy tavern.

You enter the tavern and look around for a seat. The place is nearly full. But there is bench space at a long wooden table at one side of the room. Sitting around the table are men you recognize— eminently respectable men—some of Philadelphia’s leading judges and lawyers. They are deep in debate about an abstruse point of real property law. Not being a lawyer yourself, you do not think of that sort of discussion as the key to a good time. But there are no other seats.


You slip into the empty chair and order your punch while the talk swirls around your head. Eventually, you decide to turn the conversation elsewhere. You give a little cough.

The lawyers had barely noticed you, but now they turn their heads and break off the debate. “I regret that I feel unqualified to comment on your subject,” you say. “But, gentlemen, you know I am not a lawyer. May I suggest another topic?”

They seem interested. The prior discussion had been wearing thin anyway.

“You no doubt have observed,” you continue, “that ten new constitutional amendments were proclaimed last week.”

“Yes,” responds one of your listeners. (You know him to be a distinguished judge.) “They should work some change upon the system.”

“That is exactly what I wished to pursue,” you add. “What is that system? And what change does the Bill of Rights effect upon it?”

The lawyers look at each other. One of them—he is particularly known as an expert in wills and fiduciary trusts—smiles. “Well, my friend, that is an expansive inquiry whose response might consume some time. Are you otherwise engaged for the next few hours? ” The others laugh.

But you press your question. It is only seven o’clock, your spouse has gone to Carlyle to visit relatives, and you are not “otherwise engaged.” Neither are you particularly eager to leave the warm tavern.

“I am at complete leisure,” you respond. “Please, say on.”

The lawyers glance at each other. “Well, why not?” asks one. “As it happens, we are not engaged either. The courts are closed tomorrow, and our wives are enjoying the comfort of each other’s society. I dare say they have no present need of us!” More laughter.

“I think I can speak for my learned colleagues here,” the trust attorney interjects, “when I tell you that there is no topic on which we would rather discourse than our new Constitution. We have exchanged views on this subject before, and we differ on the small points. But I flatter myself that we are in accord on the great ones.”

You are a bit amused at how easy it is to induce lawyers to talk.  You draw deep from the warm punch, and sit back, and listen . . .

* * * *

What would those lawyers tell you that evening? What would have been their understanding of the scope of the new federal government and its powers? What would they relate of the role of the states or of the people?

What, in other words, was the actual legal force of our Constitution as lawyers and intelligent lay persons understood it in 1791?

This book answers those questions. The answers were important in 1791, but they are especially important today, when our federal government seems to have wandered so far from its roots. Those answers are deemed relevant to constitutional interpretation by almost everyone, and many people believe them dispositive. That is, many Americans—lawyers and non-lawyers alike—believe the Constitution’s original understanding should govern us today.

To be sure, some people, including the former law instructor who now serves as President of the United States, believe that it is impossible to reconstruct the Constitution’s original meaning. As this book demonstrates, that view is substantially incorrect. Competent Founding-Era scholars largely agree on what most of the original Constitution’s provisions mean. Much of the disagreement among constitutional writers results from unfamiliarity with the historical record or with eighteenth-century law. We will never be absolutely certain of the complete meaning of every constitutional clause.

But we can reconstruct most of the original Constitution’s meaning with clarity and confidence.


The preceding preface was taken from the book “The Original Constitution, What it Actually Said and Meant”.
This incredible book, which unlike most non-fiction books is an absolute page turner.

A Mother’s Prayer

(Fort Worth, Texas)

Did a mother’s prayer for her son save five or more lives? Read this article and decide for yourself.

When Jestin Anthony Joseph walked into a McDonald’s and asked for a cup of water, that’s not all he was after.   Witnesses say the 24-year-old soon pulled out a gun and pointed it at employees and customers — who were with children — demanding their possessions.   Fort Worth police say surveillance video shows Joseph pulling the trigger at least five times while pointing it at individuals inside the restaurant — but the gun wouldn’t fire.   At least one man tried to wrestle the gun away from the Joseph, who then went outside and fired a shot into the air, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram says.

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As people ran from the restaurant, Joseph went back inside and again pointed the gun at individuals and pulled the trigger.   Again the gun didn’t fire, police said.   So Joseph went back outside, pointed it at a passing vehicle, successfully fired two rounds in its direction, and witness say the driver never stopped, according to police.   Joseph was soon captured, police say, adding that no one was injured in the Tuesday night stick-up and there’s no explanation for the gun misfiring.   “I’ve never seen anything like that before,” robbery Sgt. Joe Loughman told the Star-Telegram. “It must not have been their time to go.”   Jospeh’s mother agrees, believing the gun malfunctioned “because we were praying,” she tells the Star-Telegram. “Last night I told God to keep Jestin, and that’s what I do believe happened. I did not know he even had a gun.”


Joseph’s mother, who asked not to be identified, went to police about four hours before the robbery and reported that she feared her son was suicidal based on a phone call with him.   “He said, ‘They’re trying to kill me, Mama! I’m going to die tonight! I’m going to die tonight!’” the mother recounted to the Star-Telegram, adding that Joseph may have been experiencing a mental breakdown like his father did a few years ago, a condition she says runs in his father’s family.   “The only thing I can say to you is that was not my son yesterday,” Joseph’s mother said. “He was not in his right mind.”   KXAS-TV conducted a jailhouse interview with Joseph on Thursday in which he said he “lost it,” but added that the gun was loaded but not cocked and that he had no plans to hurt anyone.

Joseph tells KXAS that he started hearing voices Sunday night, continues to hear them, but hasn’t been treated for mental illness. He also told the station he was angry, believed people were after him, and went to the McDonald’s to steal a car and get out of town.   Asked if there was a better way to handle his anger, Joseph told KXAS, “No.”   Joseph was in jail Wednesday night on outstanding warrants and on suspicion of five counts of aggravated robbery, with total bail set at $500,000, the Star-Telegram reports. piers-morgan-jackass

Police have had previous dealings with Joseph, who’s from Allen, Tex., about an hour northeast of Fort Worth. The Star-Telegram says he’s been collared for possession of drug paraphernalia and a narcotics-related warrant and for assault, the Star-Telegram says.   “In some of the other contacts we’ve had with him, he kind of lives a transient lifestyle,” according to Sgt. Jon Felty, a spokesman for the Allen Police Department, adding that Joseph was known to travel by bus. “He’ll come stay a while. Then he’ll be gone a period of time. Oftentimes he seems to suffer from extreme paranoia.”   Joseph’s mother said she was at the Allen police station when her scared and frantic son called her again.   “I was actually talking to a police officer when he called me for the last time,” the mother tells the Star-Telegram. “I was trying to find out where he was. I asked the cop if he could trace the call. I told him, ‘Jestin, I love you.’ He was just like, ‘Mama, people are after me. People are after me.’”   She expressed gratitude to God that no one was hurt.   “I would have never in a million years thought he would have gone to that point,” she said. “I know that same spirit that grabbed a hold of his dad and took his dad mentally, grabbed Jestin. I could hear that with Jestin, in the things he was saying.”   1005955_567650226618782_541369879_n

Here’s surveillance video of the incident from Fort Worth police via YouTube:




High School Forces Student To Remove ‘Duck Dynasty’ Shirt Because It Was Deemed ‘Threatening’

posted by staff

0Silas “Uncle Si” Robertson giving a presentation at a local elementary school

A Virginia high school wasn’t “happy, happy, happy” with a “Duck Dynasty” t-shirt one student wore to class recently.

According to WWBT-TV, Dinwiddie High School forced Hunter Spain to remove his shirt that pictured Si Robertson with the words “I Will Hurt You Physically and Metaphysically” because it was deemed too “threatening.”


“For this to be considered a threat to the school, I couldn’t understand it,” Edna-Jo Spain, the student’s mother, told WWBT.

Uncle Si “I Will Hurt You Physically and Metaphysically” T-shirt

The school reportedly told Spain to either turn the shirt inside-out or go home to get a new one.

“I’m not going to look stupid in front of all these young ladies in the school,” the student told WWBT. “So I decided to get a different t-shirt.”

The school stands by its decision, saying the shirt could be misconstrued to those that don’t watch the popular reality show.

“If you are a ‘Duck Dynasty’ fan you understand the meaning of the shirt,” David Clark, the school’s superintendent, told WWBT. “But if you haven’t watched ‘Duck Dynasty’ you may question if the shirt implies violence. As a school division, we would like to keep our slogans on student shirts as non-violent as possible.

The Spains, who are huge fans of the show, will be taking part next year in a “Ducky Dynasty” cruise.

a7cedd726782e6571320ade67b45b0cc“Uncle Si” quotes that seem fitting for this story.

The reality show has been a smash hit for A&E, as the Season 4 premiere became the number one nonfiction series telecast in cable history with 11.8 million viewers.




by Dustin Hoyt (guest writer)

The United States has seen two horrific shootings on military bases in recent years that have left civilians and soldiers dead, shot and killed inside of U.S. military installations at the hands of psychopaths possessing firearms.


The question has been asked: What can be done to stop these attacks?

Many people will jump to conclusions, as they do with every mass shooting, and say that guns are the problem. They will claim that as long as guns are easily accessible there will always be mass shootings and gun culture that propagate violence.

Another group of people will claim that every living person should have a gun in their hand so they can defend themselves and that should be the end of it.


So far as actions go, the U.S. has seen politicians say “they are looking into it” and “Gun Control is needed”.

In the interest of actually saving lives at these military installations, here are two solutions that can be agreed upon by the majority of the American people:

1. Repealing Department of Defense (D.O.D.) directive 5210.56 which states:

“The authorization to carry firearms shall be issued only to qualified personnel [on military bases] when there is a reasonable expectation that life and D.O.D. assets will be jeopardized if firearms are not carried.”

and replace it with something more like:

“The authorization to carry semi-automatic sidearms shall be issued to military personnel above the grade of E-5 at all U.S. military installations and properties, exempting those areas where firearms can be hazardous such as ordinance storage, weapons facilities, and nuclear facilities.”

With this policy change, the number of firearms to trusted military personnel would go up and therefore there would be no “hunting ground” for an armed psychopath at U.S. military installations. Since the firearms would only go to enlisted men who have been in the military for, on average, four or five years, and officers, there would be little to no concern of the quality of men carrying the firearms.

This change would be the end of mass murders on U.S. military installations by firearms as any threat of such violence would be met with an overwhelming presence of violence, thus discouraging such action or at the very least ending it much quicker with less casualties.

This solution would also receive bipartisan support in the legislature, if they should take it up, because who better qualified to defend themselves than the people who defend this country?

About Dustin Hoyt

Dustin Hoyt is the host of the America Our Way Radio Show and is the administrator of America Our Way (facebook page) He has a B.A. in Broadcasting from Stephen F. Austin State University (SFASU) where he minored in Political Science.



The Rancher and the Lawyer

posted by staff

A big city lawyer went quail hunting in West Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a pasture on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, a crusty old rancher rode up and asked him what he was doing.

The attorney responded, “I shot a quail. It fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old rancher retorted, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States, and if you don’t let me have that quail, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old rancher smiled and said, “Apparently you don’t know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements with the ‘Three Kicks Rule’.” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kicks Rule’?” The rancher replied, “Well, because the dispute is occurring on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until one of us gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and figured he could easily take the old geezer. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old rancher slowly climbed down from his horse and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his cowboy boot right into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick, to the belly, doubled the lawyer over, gagging for air. The lawyer was on hands and knees when the rancher’s third kick, to his rump, sent him face first into a fresh cow patty.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his willpower and managed to struggle to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket he said, “Okay, you old fool. Now it’s my turn.” The old rancher grinned and answered, “Nah, I give up. You can have the quail!”

Then he drove away, leaving the stunned big city lawyer speechless for the first time in his life.

The Texan Cowboy in the South Dakota Saloon

Author Unknown


The Texas cowboy rode into the town of Deadwood, South Dakota. He stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.


He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.

“WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.


No one answered.20190905_185216_resized__08449.1378869953.1280.1280



Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back.


The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, “Say partner, before you go … what happened in Texas?”


The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk”.