posted by staff
A big city lawyer went quail hunting in West Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a pasture on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, a crusty old rancher rode up and asked him what he was doing.
The attorney responded, “I shot a quail. It fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old rancher retorted, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States, and if you don’t let me have that quail, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old rancher smiled and said, “Apparently you don’t know how we settle disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements with the ‘Three Kicks Rule’.” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kicks Rule’?” The rancher replied, “Well, because the dispute is occurring on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until one of us gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and figured he could easily take the old geezer. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old rancher slowly climbed down from his horse and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his cowboy boot right into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick, to the belly, doubled the lawyer over, gagging for air. The lawyer was on hands and knees when the rancher’s third kick, to his rump, sent him face first into a fresh cow patty.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his willpower and managed to struggle to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket he said, “Okay, you old fool. Now it’s my turn.” The old rancher grinned and answered, “Nah, I give up. You can have the quail!”
Then he drove away, leaving the stunned big city lawyer speechless for the first time in his life.
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