Author: proudtexan
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Genius dad calls his son
An elderly man in Plano, Texas calls his son who is working in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!” “Dad, what are you talking about?”…
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Diary of a Texas Newcomer
Dear Diary, Just moved to Texas! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful, I’ve finally found my home, I love it here. June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned…
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The best husband ever!
Several Texans were sitting around in the Fort Worth Texas Stock Show Sale Barn waiting for the lightweight calves to run through. Suddenly a Cell Phone rings out disturbing the Auction. One of the Cowboys answers it…Cowboy: “Hello?”Wife: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the Salebarn?”Cowboy: “Yep.” Wife: “Great! I am at the Mall a…
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Gotta love Texas Women
Author Unknown Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties. The first man had married a woman from Pennsylvania and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He…
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Watch: Don’t California My Texas
Joe Rogan invited Texas native Wesley Hunt onto his podcast to talk about the influx of Californians moving to Texas. The conversation was definitely an interesting one, and worth your time. Get out the popcorn and enjoy!
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WATCH: “You’re a stupid Son of a …” Beto O’Rourke crashes Uvalde press conference and all chaos breaks loose
Democrat Beto O’Rourke was escorted out of Texas Republican Gov. Greg Abbott’s press conference Wednesday after he showed up and heckled the governor in the middle of an update on the elementary school massacre in Uvalde. As Abbott was finishing his remarks to reporters, O’Rourke, the Democratic candidate for governor, stood up and began speaking…
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Garter (Garden) Snakes can be super deadly
by Trey Preston Garden Snakes also known as Garter Snakes can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out…
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She wanted to go fishing
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir… can you tell me anything about this rod and…
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The New New Math
I purchased a normal Whataburger at Whataburger for $2.08. The counter girl took my $5 bill and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed…
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My First (and last) Tubing Trip on the Guadalupe
by the Austin Zombie So there I was, just minding my own business. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I was planning to enjoy it just laying around and doing not much. Angie suggested that the whole family take a trip up the road and enjoy a nice relaxing tubing trip down the peaceful,…
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I picked up my welcome mat and found 6 snakes!
What would you do in my shoes? Yesterday when I picked up my welcome mat off the lawn (it had blown into my yard), I was shocked to discover 6 rough earth snakes in a mating ball! I was personally thrilled to find these creatures. My wife, not so much. You may have heard her…
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An Open Letter to Aetna from a Texas Doctor
Source: Notification of Termination to Aetna. January 30, 2014 Dear Mr. Bertolini, With a deep sense of sadness, I must inform you that I will no longer serve as a physician for Aetna patients under the terms of our contractual agreement, which you most recently unilaterally changed. I have been privileged and honored to care…